How to deal with a bully
A bully is a person who hurts, intimidates or bullies those people who are smaller or weaker. The abuser is intimidating and aggressive. Because bullies have low self-esteem and low confidence, they usually look for someone who is weaker than them.
Some people agree that bullies have very high self-esteem. I personally don’t think so. If the abuser is a person who cannot deal with aggression in a healthy way and usually looks for victims, he definitely has no self-esteem. Bullies tend to appear strong and confident, but this is a mask to cover up their fears and inability to deal with aggression.
According to the American Psychological Association, bullies are described as “impulsive, easily frustrated, domineering, and difficult to follow rules.” Bullying usually starts early in life and if this behavior is not corrected, it will happen again.
Often times, people who are bullied are shy and very passive, lacking the ability to stand up for themselves. You feel helpless and dependent. Hence, these bullied people also lack self-esteem and confidence.
The main difference between a bully and a victim is that the bully will have a propensity for criminal behavior later in life. On the other hand, those who are bullied will be more likely to suffer from low self-esteem and depression. Bullying can take many forms: name-calling, threading, spreading rumours, making fun of your size, race, religion, physical abuse, etc.
How can we deal with bullies? Here are some tips:
- The first step if you are a victim is to start building self-esteem. By setting strong boundaries and learning to stand up for yourself, you will stop bullies.
- Learn to be assertive and firm. Say: I’m not going to take this… You’re trying to make me feel bad, but it’s not working… and so on.
- Always make eye contact. Look directly at the abuser when you speak.
- Keep your voice loud and firm without shouting.
If you find that you are a victim of bullies, do not ignore this fact. Remember that bullies are attracted to passive people who lack self-esteem. You must take action, and before you take action, be prepared. The best way to take action is to build self-esteem and confidence.
Learn to be assertive and record your success. Writing down the times you successfully stopped a bully will build more confidence and make you feel good about yourself. In the meantime, while you’re working on it, try to avoid these people and places and be persistent. If you can’t handle the problem, get help.
If you think bullies only terrorize the schoolyard, think again. When they stop bullying their classmates, they can grow up to be intimidating coworkers, spouses, friends, and parents” – Dr. Phil.
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