An ounce of help is better than a pound of preaching
It is very difficult to comfort someone who is down. Criticism won’t help, but a listening heart can. Feeling what someone else is going through is already comforting. Understanding and sympathy are better than a pound of preaching about a mistake. Accusations won’t help either. However, it’s easier to find fault with other people, but it’s different when your compassion is what they need.
Acknowledge that you understand the person’s feelings. Sometimes people want to seek advice or a solution to their problem. But as you can see, they usually want to vent their feelings. This is especially true for women. So, just listen. Let the other person talk so they can sort out their feelings for themselves; they may not even be able to articulate why they feel oppressed unless you pry it out of them.
Never belittle their pain or try to cheer them up. When faced with tears, we sometimes insist that whatever they are upset about is no big deal. Don’t belittle their experience, go through it with them. Put yourself in their shoes so you can easily understand what they went through. Words may not be so trivial, but how you react to a situation matters.
Sometimes people don’t want to talk and just want to be kept quiet. They just want to feel that they are not alone. So your presence is already enough to comfort them. Even if you don’t offer comforting words, the very fact that you stay with them is already a relief.
In such circumstances, the person usually feels better after sharing the burden in their heart and the pain eventually fades. Having someone who is willing to listen and never judge you despite your flaws is a gift. How on earth do I survive the struggle of life if I don’t have a friend to lean on especially when I’m so down and depressed.
Money is nothing compared to a friend who can help you without providing you with any monetary budget. If the problem is still not resolved, she can offer you a solution to improve the situation without forcing you to do so. She always listens. Even if she has her own problems too.
With someone who is sad not because of an isolated event, but because she is suffering from disappointments, just talk to her and listen to her. Over-experiencing is not only ineffective in alleviating depressive feelings, it can also make them worse.
#ounce #pound #preaching
